


All I Could Do Was Cry

by Sexidebater



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heartbreak, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:26:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28687854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sexidebater/pseuds/Sexidebater
Summary: Draco is getting married, yet it's not to the person he truly wishes to marry. Forced by a contract signed in blood, he will preform his duty or wither away into nothing. Yet, is withering worse than heartbreak?
Relationships: Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Kudos: 22





	All I Could Do Was Cry

**Author's Note:**

> *Author’s Note*  
> First and foremost, I would like to thank the late but forever great, Etta James, for her enchanting singing of “All I Could Do Was Cry.” Please, for my sake, go give that song a quick listen so you can get some context surrounding my inspiration for this gut wrenching fic.  
> I accidently took a hiatus from writing when I ran out of my ADHD pills, but now that I’m back on them, I am back to writing! And to kick it off, here is a true heartbreaker.  
> Enjoy your heart being ripped out of your chest and stomped on!

**Hermione**

Hermione sat down in a chair in the very back row of the garden. 

It was a truly beautiful garden in the Sissinghurst Castle Garden. World famous, very expensive to rent, and very beautiful. Hermione had always wanted to visit the garden in Sissinghurst as a tourist, but she was now visiting under a supposed to be happy occasion, but all she could do was barely hold back her tears.

Today was a solemn day for her.

The day that her love, Draco Malfoy, would marry another; Astoria Greengrass. Hermione was losing the man that she loved.

Hermione still had a few minutes before the ceremony would start.

Her mind drifted to a lot of related topics. 

Like: Why on Earth was she torturing herself by watching her love marry another? 

Hermione answered her question in her head: It was because she wanted to support him, and she had to keep up appearances. If it came out that he had been with Hermione during his betrothal to Astoria, then all hell could break loose. She needed to keep to the narrative that she was his co-worker in “Foriegn Affairs and Sports Department” at the Ministry, and she needed to keep up the guise that they were good working friends.

On top of that, Hermione was apparently a glutton for punishment. This would be without a doubt one of the most painful experiences of her life, and she had been through a lot of painful experiences, from permanently erasing her parents’ memories to being tortured by Bellatrix.

Yet this was a different form of pain. It caused her heart to completely ache. There was a tightness in her chest, and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. 

Hermione knew she was working herself up, so she took a couple deep breaths and bit back tears. She didn’t want to openly sob.

“You can sob later.” Was the mantra she repeated in her head until she gained some semblance of control over her emotional response.

She sat in silence, praying that nobody she actually knew would sit next to her. Very few people knew about hers and Draco’s true relationship; and they wanted to keep it that way.

Yet Hermione had never had that great of a poker face.

She just wanted to keep up the facade for the ceremony and part of the reception. Then she could spirit herself away and sob her heart out by her lonesome.

  


**Draco**

It was almost time for Draco to walk down the aisle so he could stand at the altar to meet Astoria.

Today was supposed to be joyous for him. He was getting married.

Yet it wasn’t to who he wanted.

Nothing against his betrothed, but she simply wasn’t HER.

HER, being Hermione Granger.

Draco was inside a private room in the Sissinghurst Castle, preparing himself for his nuptials. Blaise Zabini was in the room with him, watching Draco closely as Draco gripped the vanity table, staring at himself in the mirror.

He was silent as he stared at himself, wondering what has become of the man he had worked so hard to turn into.

After the Battle of Hogwarts, he life was hell, and he had to do so much damage control and had to have a major redemption arc. So few believed in him. Just his close Hogwarts mates, and of course, Hermione.

Draco had somehow managed to get a low-level position in the Foreign Affairs and Sports Department at the Ministry. An absolute miracle, but it had been two years since the Battle and Draco had almost completely proved to the community that he had turned over a new leaf.

His position was in the Sports section of the department. It wasn’t a great job, but he had room for advancement, in theory. If it hadn’t been for Hermione, he probably would’ve stayed at the bottom rung for many years.

But there she had been, in the department breakroom, drinking a cup of coffee as she bantered with a co-worker.

When her chocolate brown eyes locked contact with Draco’s steel grey eyes, Draco instantly knew that he was a goner.

He had always admired Hermione, yet he wouldn’t admit it in school. He had never explored his feelings for her, too afraid to even venture into that part of his mind. His father’s opinion held him back mostly. And Draco didn’t want to desire something that he could never ever have. Hermione was that something.

It nagged him all through school, how she was absolutely bloody brilliant, and there was nothing he could do about it.

He had resigned himself to never having a chance with her, yet here he was, working in the same department as her, and maybe, just maybe, having a shot with her.

He didn’t get his hopes up, but hope was still in his heart.

Draco’s mind returned to the present, where he was standing in front of a vanity in a private room in a castle, about to marry Astoria Greengrass, and not Hermione Granger.

He cursed his father, who had died the year before, for getting him in this situation.

Unbeknownst to Draco, in Draco’s 5th year of Hogwarts, Lucius had promised Draco’s hand to Astoria Greengrass. It was an absolutely ironclad blood magic contract between Lucius and Astoria’s father, Nicholas Greengrass.

Lucius had made the contract to ensure that Draco would marry one of the Sacred Twenty-eight. Everyone else around his age in the Sacred Twenty-eight was too close in marriage for Draco to safely marry, except Astoria and her sister, Daphne. Yet Daphne had already been betrothed, so Draco got the younger sister.

Lucius kept this arrangement secret until the summer after Draco’s 5th year.

Draco was upset, but not terribly, at the time. Betrothals were common among purebloods. They ensured the continuation of blood purity and allowed there to be distance between cousin marriages.

But as Draco got older, and he became disenchanted with the whole concept of blood purity, he began to dread his contracted nuptials.

Especially, when he shot his shot with Hermione, and he hit the target dead center.

Lucius passed away in Askaban a little over a year before his wedding, but the contract still stuck. Nicholas Greengrass and Lucius Malfoy had known what they were doing when it came to blood magic.

So Draco put off the wedding for as long as he could; which was five years after his scheduled graduation from Hogwarts. Draco put it off so much that the date of the wedding was exactly five years to the day of the Battle of Hogwarts. Not a fun day to get married, but it was the absolute latest he could have the wedding without violating the contract.

The consequences of violating the contractual wedding sealed by blood magic were a severe curse on both Astoria and Draco. It was a withering curse, where in a matter of weeks, they both would wither away into nothingness.

If it was just Draco that the curse was to be placed on, he would break the contact. But because Astoria would suffer, he couldn’t do that to her; she was too innocent. Yes, she had believed in blood purity through her youth, but she saw the light of day during the war, and moved her ideology more towards Dracos.

If it only hadn’t been for Hermione, Draco would have gone through the marriage begrudgingly, but willingly. Now, it was purely so that Astoria wouldn’t wither away. That was the only reason he would stand at the altar today.

Draco’s mind returned to the present, where he found himself gripping the vanity table so hard that his knuckles were white. He glanced at his appearance in the mirror and caught Blaise’s eyes.

“You okay mate?” Blaise asked Draco.

Draco sighed, “I don’t want to do this.”

“You’ve gotta. I’m sorry mate.” 

“I know, to save Astoria. She doesn’t deserve this; not at all. But I lose everything.” Draco lamented.

Blaise groaned, “You’ll grow to love Astoria, perhaps never with the same intensity as you love Granger, but we’ve tried everything.”

“I know, curse my father and his obsession with purity.”

“Man is rolling over in his grave.”

“I’m confident that Mother knows how to reverse it, but she’s also sold into the old ways. There’s nothing we can do.” Draco said, tears welling up in his eyes.

He had existential dread. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to face Hermione again. They had tried everything from the minute he had told her about the contract.

She immediately began researching ways to break blood magic, she enlisted the help of the eldest Weasley, along with numerous other cohorts. Yet the most brilliant minds couldn’t find a way to get Draco out of his predicament. 

About six months ago, Draco instructed Hermione to stop trying to break the contract. It was draining on her soul and he wanted to give her peace. A clean break. Almost three years of happiness, gone.

Draco’s mother knocked on the door, interrupting Draco’s thoughts.

“Darling, it’s time.” She said softly.

Draco never confirmed that he had another to her, but she had her suspicions. Yet, Draco was doing his duty, and that was enough for her.

Draco nodded and finally released the vanity. He approached his mother who straightened his tie and patted his shoulders with a small smile.

“Your father would be proud.”

Draco attempted a smile, which was more of a grimace. 

He followed his mother and Blaise out of the room, preparing himself to meet his destiny.

  


**Hermione**

The choir began to sing as Draco walked the aisle. 

As Draco passed Hermione, his eyes locked with hers, and there was incredible sadness in those intense mercury eyes. 

Hermione choked back a sob, taking a deep breath and looking away from him.

This was so painful for her. She wasn’t sure her heart would survive the ceremony. She wanted to run away and just cry. 

Yet Hermione refused to give in. She had to see this through. If it was difficult for her, she could only imagine how difficult it was for Draco. 

A few moments later, Astoria came out of the castle and began to glide down the aisle.

She was radiant in her ball gown wedding dress. 

Hermione felt a pang of jealousy, that should have been her, not Astoria, gliding down the aisle to Draco.

Things went fuzzy in Hermione’s head. She almost blacked out as the officiant began speaking.

Yet she held her composure and retained control of her mind a few seconds later, only to drift into the past.

Their first date to be exact.

Malfoy had taken on the roll of a “secret admirer.” He sent her beautiful poems in the form of love notes, anonymous boxes of chocolates and flowers.

And the crescendo was when he invited her to a date to finally “meet her secret admirer” at a small muggle cafe in London on a rare beautiful spring morning.

Imagine Hermione’s shock when she walked into the cafe, just to find Draco nervously twiddling his thumbs. He looked up at her as she walked through the door and gave a small wave accompanied with a nervous smile.

Hermione was surprised, but not overly shocked. She had noticed him looking at her funny in the past, but hadn’t thought anything of it, but now all the pieces were fitting together.

She blushed as she sat down and a waiter came over and took her order for an espresso with a breakfast platter.

Draco placed his order of an earl grey tea and an eggie in a basket.

There was tense silence for a few moments until Hermione cleared her throat.

“Sooooo, you’re my secret admirer?” She asked, raising an eyebrow, a small smirk on her face.

Draco’s pale skin turned as red as a cherry, “Yeah, I am. I know, I’m pathetic, but I didn’t know how to approach you with our, um, our history.”

Hermione gave a small chuckle, and from then, conversation flowed freely. They addressed their combined past, agreeing to move on from it and turn a new page on their lives.

Two hours later, they finally parted with a friendly hug that lasted longer than a normal hug, and the agreement to go to a show later that week.

Draco hadn’t actually expected for Hermione to hold him to seeing a show together, he thought that she was awkwardly humoring him, yet she sent him a letter with some upcoming shows for Saturday night, asking for him to choose one soon so she could get an appropriate outfit together.

Thus began their relationship. They kept it on a need-to-know basis, specifically at Draco’s request, because he knew that he was betrothed and didn’t want the world to know about his situation. Plus, Hermione was just out of his league. 

He was a disgraced Death Eater, and she was the brains of the Golden Trio.

He could never compete with her goodness, yet here she was, seeing him as a romantic partner. And he didn’t want to ruin that with the press getting involved, and Merlin forbid, Nicholas Greengrass.

Their relationship progressed slowly, not even kissing until the fourth date.

Hermione peered up at him from under her eyelashes while he was dropping her off at her house after a night out dancing. Her breath hitched as he leaned in close to her, slowly and tentatively.

Their eyes closed at the same time, and their lips met in a soft, gentle kiss that lasted only a few seconds.

Hermione was beaming for the rest of the night after he left, and fell into a blissful sleep full of dreams of Draco.

**  
**

**Draco**

Draco watched Astoria glide down the aisle.

No matter how hard he tried to stop himself, he couldn’t help but imagine what Hermione would look like if she was gliding down the aisle towards him.

He held back his tears, not wanting to give away the pot.

He forced a smile and held out his arm for Astoria to take once she reached the altar.

Draco’s mind kept drifting to his and Hermione’s first kiss as the officiant talked about the sanctity of marriage.

Was it unsanctimonious to think about your lover during your own vows? Was that a violation of marriage?

Draco pondered the thought then forced himself back to the present as the officiant said his name.

“Now repeat after me,” the wizened wizard said.

Draco repeated standard marriage vows to Astoria. They had had the option of writing their own, but Draco’s heart didn’t belong to her, so how could he pour it out to her when his heart was with another? He couldn’t fake baring his soul.

Astoria followed suit with repeating her own vows to Draco.

The officiant declared them a married couple and instructed them to kiss.

Draco gave Astoria a chaste peck on the lips then pulled away.

There was sadness in her eyes.

Though he hadn’t told her about his relationship with Hermione, she had known that he had been seeing someone else, and that he tried to get out of the blood magic contract, to no avail. Her father had told her about his attempts to end their betrothal.

Astoria had always found him attractive at school, and knew that she could grow to love him, but to know that he would never fully want her was heartbreaking. He would do his duty, marry her, have children with her, but he would never love her like he loved the other woman.

Draco felt a pain in his chest, knowing that he was breaking his new bride’s heart. Yet there was nothing he could do; he did his duty, he married her, he saved her from withering away, yet, was this fate any better than withering away?

If only it would affect only him…

  


**Hermione**

Hermione’s heart was already broken in half, yet it shattered to pieces as the officiant declared Draco and Astoria to be husband and wife. 

She bit her quivering lip and held back her sobs, tilting her head down so she could gain composure without revealing her face to anyone who might by chance be watching.

Cheerful music began to play as Draco and Astoria walked back down the aisle, off to do wedding photos.

Hermione looked up as Draco passed her, catching his eye again.

He could see that she was on the verge of hysterics, her eyes rimmed with red, tears threatening to fall, and that almost set him off. He sniffled but kept going.

After the wedding party left, the guests began to rise and go to the cocktail hour before the reception.

Hermione ducked out and went to the nearest restroom, where she locked herself in a stall and fell to the floor, hugging her knees to her chest.

She sobbed silently, unable to breath, on the verge of hysterics.

Nothing she could do. 

She had lost the man that she loved.

And all she could do was cry.

After about ten minutes of sobbing, Hermione sniffled and stood up, leaving the stall and approaching the mirror. She stared as her wrecked eye make up, her mascara running all the way down her cheeks, her lipstick smeared across her mouth.

She set to making herself presentable again with a flick of her wand.

Taking a few more moments to do a deep breathing exercise so she could keep composure, she left the restroom and joined the guests at the cocktail hour.

The only good thing about this wedding was the open bar. How she so needed it.

Hermione couldn’t help but imagine how Draco was feeling.

What they had had, it was intense, it was like nothing she had ever experienced in her existence, and she probably never would again.

Her mind drifted to the first time they were intimate.

Draco had been taking things at a snail's pace, and they were five months in, approximately fifteen dates down, when Hermione invited him over for dinner at her flat, and surprised him in sexy lingerie. His jaw dropped as did his trousers the minute he closed the door.

That night, and the many more following, were magical. Hermione wouldn’t trade them for the world, each night was a fleeting moment that she would cherish.

  


**Draco**

Draco felt like he was grimacing as opposed to smiling in his wedding photos.

He just hoped that it wouldn’t show. That the moving pictures wouldn’t show his sorrow. It was fitting for his mood, and for the type of marriage, yet it wouldn’t be kind to Astoria.

Draco knew that she desperately wanted it to work out between them because they were to be together for the rest of their natural lives. He had to try, for her sake.

Yet his heart hurt, and he just wanted to drown himself in alcohol and cry.

Blaise pinched him when Draco’s thoughts began to drift; the pinch brought him back to reality.

After over an hour of photos, when the reception hall was undoubtedly filled, cocktail hour was over, and the photographer had gotten all the shots, Draco and Astoria entered the banquet hall.

Draco raised their joined hands over their heads in a sort of victory pose, faking a cheerful smile. 

Draco’s eyes scanned the room and finally found Hermione at a table in the corner, seated with some of their coworkers. Her eyes showed her misery as she sat there, looking at the “happy” couple. 

Draco forced himself to look away, knowing if he continued to look, he would lose himself.

Dinner was served, and then the dancing began. 

It started with a traditional waltz, led by Draco and Astoria as the first dance.

Draco’s eyes darted back and forth between Astoria and Hermione. He always knew where Hermione was in the room. He noticed that he glass was never empty.

His mind drifted to their last night together, six months before his wedding.

She was curled up in his lap as they sat on her couch in her flat, as she sobbed her eyes out. Draco had just instructed her to stop attempting to break the contract, and that the wedding was being planned, and of course, that he was sorry.

He held her as she sobbed into his chest. Tears fell down his face and into her bushy hair as he held her.

“I don’t want to give up,” Hermione choked out between sobs.

“You’ve got to love.” Draco said softly, nestling his face in her hair, “It’s unbreakable, and if I don’t follow through, both myself and Astoria will wither away.”

“It’s not fair.”

“Life isn’t fair my dear.” He cooed, his arms wrapping tighter around her body.

Hermione didn’t respond, she just continued to sob.

They stayed in each other’s embrace for the rest of the night. As the sun crept over the horizon, Hermione untangled herself from Draco’s grip, kissed him softly on the lips, and left the livingroom, locking herself in her bedroom.

Draco took the hint and let himself out.

But not before leaving her a final note.

  


_ I will always love you. You’re the only one who has my heart, and the only one who ever will. _

  


Hermione found it on the table hours later when she finally emerged from her pity party to scour her cabinets for biscuits. She fell to the kitchen floor, clutching the short note to her chest as the sobbing began again.

She thought that she had cried herself out, but there were still some tears left.

After Draco had left her flat, he began to just go through the motions of living, doing the bare minimum to get by. He left all the planning to Astoria, not really caring what the centerpieces looked like. He would show up and do his contractually obligated duty as promised by his father.

Nothing more, nothing less.

And this is where he found himself, dancing with a woman who would never make his soul sing like Hermione did.

Draco kept Hermione in the corner of his eye; but he almost didn’t notice her leave. He noticed she was gone, and got the glimpse of her leaving out the side door.

He excused himself from Astoria and forced himself to NOT chase after her in a sprint, and to calmly follow her back out into the gardens.

**  
**

**Hermione**

Hermione had pulled out her wand, trying to decide if she was too drunk to apparate or if she should hail the Knight Bus when she heard a throat clear behind her.

“‘Mione.” Draco whispered.

Hermione turned, and she felt the tears start to fall when she saw Draco standing there, his perfectly straightened hair finally messy after a long day. His suit accented his body, tight around his well toned arms. He looked magnificent in the moonlight.

Hermione took a gasping breath, choking back her sobs.

“I can’t Draco, I can’t do this.” She choked out, backing away from him slowly.

“Hermione, please.”

“Please what? Draco, what’s done is done. I’ve lost you, I never had you in the first place.”

“You’ve always had me. And you always will.” Draco hissed, taking five steps towards her so he was in her personal space.

Draco leaned down and captured her lips with his, giving her a passionate kiss that burned with the heat of a thousand suns.

Hermione’s arms wrapped around his neck, her fingers tangling themselves in his hair. She never wanted this kiss to end, she wanted to be frozen in this exact moment in time.

But the kiss soon ended as they both needed to breathe.

Draco rested his forehead on hers. “I’m sorry.”

“I know you are.”

Draco’s tears began to fall. He couldn’t hold them back anymore. He closed his eyes and pulled Hermione’s body into his embrace, his arms tight around her form.

Hermione melted into his arms; it was the only place she truly wanted to be.

Yet all wonderful moments must come to an end.

Hermione hiccuped and Draco released her.

She looked up at him and he pressed his lips against her forehead.

“I wish things had been different.” Hermione whispered.

“So do I.”

Hermione forced herself away from him and began walking up the path to the front gates, where she would hail the Knight Bus to give her a ride back to her flat; where she would kick off her shoes, crawl into bed still in her fancy clothes, and cry into a shirt that Draco had left behind at her flat. It still smelled slightly of him.

  


**Draco**

Draco watched Hermione walk away. 

He didn’t call out after her.

He didn’t follow her again.

He just let her go.

He let her disappear into the night, and disappear from his life.

He stood there for a few moments when he felt a presence next to him. He looked to his right and found his blushing bride staring down the path that Hermione had taken.

“So, it was Hermione Granger that stole your heart.” Astoria said matter of factly.

Draco gave a small and sad nod. “I’m sorry Astoria, I will never be able to love you the way you deserve. But I promise, I will do my best to make you happy.”

Astoria finally looked at Draco, sadness in her eyes, “I have a Granger too ya know. A muggle boy. You never met him, and you never will. He doesn’t know me anymore. I erased all memories of me from his mind. It was a kindness. The pain of him being my everything while I am now nothing to him breaks me. I will never love you the way Hermione does, but I promise to be good to you.”

Draco gave a small chuckle, “Maybe we should have written our own vows. Those were pretty good.”

Astoria barked out a laugh, “Yeah, I’m sure the crowd would have loved to hear us express our misery to one another.”

“Let’s just promise each other one thing.” Draco said thoughtfully, his eyes drifting up to the sky.

“What?”

‘Let us NEVER force our children into marriage. Let them love who they want to love, and let us accept whoever they may so choose. Because, we have both lost our other halves because of this stupid contract. Hermione will probably never look at me again. And your muggle, why, he doesn’t know you. This is a wretched tale of woe and sorrow. I do not wish to subject our children to our fate.”

“I agree with you. We shall have a loveless marriage, but I hope, we can at least be friends.”

Draco held his hand out for a shake to her, “I will proudly be your friend.”

Astoria took his hand and shook it. “Thank you.”

The “happy couple” returned to the reception, where they faked their way through the rest of the night, and eventually retired to one of the castle’s many rooms, where they sat on opposite sides of the bed, each contemplating their own misery.

  


**The Conclusion**

Draco and Astoria had two children, Scorpius and Orien. Draco and Astoria never fell in love, but they enjoyed each other’s company, and considered themselves friends and partners.

Hermione went on to marry a kind man who worked in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. He treated her right, but it wasn’t Draco.

Everyday, Draco and Hermione’s thoughts drifted to the other. Always wondering: “What if?”

And sometimes, all they could do was cry.

**Author's Note:**

> *Author's Note*
> 
> YEAAAAHHHHH, I cried when rereading this one. Hopefully you cried too! I get a sadistic joy from making strangers on the internet cry from the feels!  
> Please leave kudos!


End file.
